Playing Victim in a problem you created is Toxic.
– Arch Hades.
Hello! *really trying to sound as enthusiastic as I can* *Just kidding*. Hey you guys, sending in loads of positive, aesthetic and chill vibes to everyone out there. It’s been a stressful time and I just want to let you guys know how great you have been doing these past few weeks, looking out for each other, taking some time to find yourself, being with pets and family, it’s beautiful to see everybody so happy and energised in these times as well. xox.
We are in June 2020 already and for most of us it’s about 100 days in Quarantine now which is kinda a big deal so appreciate yourself and be proud of what you have become, which is lovely. WE have been literally inside our houses and if you are anything like me, I can say you have permanently ditched your jeans for good. * Yaaaaaaaay!*
So, I know I haven’t been writing that much this past few weeks due to various reasons one of them being that I haven’t been able to establish a work-life balance. Work from home has become a huge part of my daily schedule tbh and 95% of us are in this Wild Wild West * cliche*. But, this blog is going to be focusing on *Inserts catchy title sequence and Lo-Fi* “Decluttering Social Media”.
This is something I do normally once in about 4-5 months. I started decluttering my social media about a year ago when I was suffering from depression. When you are in “THAT” place, it’s an awful place to be and I would rather be showered with hell-fire than suffer through that.
Our minds are wired in sync with our inner peace. Now, alot of you might be thinking where am I getting at with it. Bare with me, I have a point. When you see a certain somebody’s instagram/facebook post or you see their stories or anything that’s got to do with them, it triggers you. You can sense your pulse racing, eyes pooling up and a drastic change in your body temperature. It bothers you, affects you and takes a toll on your mental health.
Guys, this is TOXIC and it is what we now know as SOCIAL MEDIA TOXICITY. You do not deserve this, not even for a second so don’t take it in. This is your social media and you should be in power. You shouldn’t feel like deleting your apps because you are being constantly targeted by them. It’s a harsh truth but, no matter how close you are to that person, they are toxic for you and you having a gush of these feelings just from looking at your phone screens, babies you need an out. It’s very Zen, soothing and you feel the weight lifting off of your chest. It’s one of the many cleansing rituals I do and it’s been helping me heal and focus on the better parts of my personal and professional life.
I’m going to list out the people/ accounts you definitely need to get rid of *this is gonna sting like a beeeeeach*.
1: Your Ex- Boyfriend/Girlfriend : If you still have him/her on any of your social media, get rid of them now, like seriously NOW! I’m gonna be super blunt when I say this but what exactly are you hoping their social media accounts are going to show? You wanna check who they are dating or sleeping with? Their current whereabouts? If they are suffering like how you are?. STOP! It’s not healthy at all. Not only are you killing your self-esteem but crushing your mental health. If you guys broke up, it’s for a reason and it’s not healthy to be stalking them. If your ex has cheated on you, do not even for a second think they are going to be any different now. They will remain the same and it’s anything but Zen. If you guys broke up because of differences, my heart goes out to you with love and prayers. It’s sad what happened but keeping them on your social media is just going to hurt so much more than the break-up. There is no such thing as a Mutual Break-Up. The only sensible thing to do is walk-out, start healing and for that, Step one is absolutely removing them from your social media space.
2: Your Ex’s Current Girlfriend/Boyfriend: I’m guilty AF for this one. But, this is probably much more toxic than having your ex on your social media. Again, even if you are on good/ bad terms with this person, irrespective, they are toxic. You will never be friends with them. I mean who are you guys kidding? They are litreally standing, dancing, giggling and sleeping in a place that you once called Home. Just ask yourself this, do you go to your old rented apartment once you have moved out and someone else is staying? NO! You don’t. It’s not your place to be and you can’t go stalking them. If your ex cheated on you because of them, baby your life is messed up because of them and you giving them the access to judge you and look at how your life has turned out is not fair and tbh not necessary. Don’t give them a chance to hurt you by texting you, calling you or commenting on your posts. Seriously, babies why? So again, this one is definitely a NO-GO! You absolutely do not need this person on your social media so get rid of them RIGHT NOW!
3: People you knew because of your previous partners: This one is really tricky because I’m sure the majority of you’ll are going to be like, ‘What have they done wrong’ or ‘We vibe alot and they don’t even talk to them(your ex) anymore’. OK, I hear you guys, let me tell you why they are mildly toxic. You know them/met them through a person that is no longer of a concern to you. Now, these people, know them(your ex), meet them, talk to them on a routine daily basis. You having them on your social media is toxic for you because deep down you still want to stalk or keep tabs on your ex’s life! (i know this, so don’t deny it and don’t lie to yourself). This is probably debatable but under no circumstances can these people know you now or how you actually are. They knew you once upon a time when you were attached to your ex, they knew you when you were their “significant other”. They are going to be judging you by the second now because they do not know you as a single individual and can you blame them? They have never really interacted with you or seen you as a separate entity. Also, ask yourself why do you want to see someone called ‘Trisha’ and her picture with pancakes or a glass of wine. Does that make you feel good? If you are in good terms with these people, I would recommend not to completely block them out but mute their posts and stories. This way you can not be in bad books with them and still keep your sanity.
4: Accounts that make you feel offended: This one is not that common but I’m sure alot of you’ll see content you don’t really like and yet for some reason are following that account. I was following a ton of accounts because my friends used to send me posts from private spaces and I never really unfollowied them and it sort of just got left out. So, yes this is definitely a NO-GO for various social media account/accounts you need to get rid off!
5: People you know but don’t really interact with: Now this one is a bit personal so take it or don’t take, it’s completely upto you.So, I was following a lot of these people who I just know via their name or you know met them once in a party and ended up following back to their follow requests. I’ll tell you why this is kinda mildly toxic. They don’t know you and you don’t know them *staring at you for 10 seconds straight*. Why do you have them? Babies come on! They are No.1 toxic to you. They are seriously judging you, stalking you and giggling on your last Instagram post. The only reason they even sent you this is probably because, one; they wanna get in your pants, two; they wanna see what kind of a person you are, and are waiting to judge you from A-Z. So, this one atleast for me is toxic and a NO-GO so definitely its an out. You can choose to talk to them and get to know them but that is a completely different scenario.
6: Celebrity/ Influencer Accounts: Ok, now this might be a bit weird for most of you but I used to follow a ton of these celebs who at first I loved for various reasons but, with time it started bothering me. It used to tick me off and I’m not saying their photos tick me off but a lot of what they were preaching, and I just didn’t quite settle in. I do not judge anyone so this is not a judgemental decision but a practical one that I took. If you know what I mean, you just know it.
AND for the last one.
7: Friends/family you broke up with: I kept this at the last because this one actually hits close to home. All of us have people who we are extremely close to but for reasons unknown your friendship has either fizzled out, has become toxic with people you were friends or previously went out with/had flings or it’s simply not the same anymore. Now, these people probably aren’t a bad influence for you, they aren’t toxic but it is is important you shut them out and don’t take this in the wrong way. Sometimes, taking a step back is important. You necessarily do not have to get rid of them on your social media because obviously you don’t wanna hurt their feelings and also, you might just mend things with them but till then you can restrict them or mute them as you see fit. But, I would really suggest you take a break and figure out their presence in your social media and if at all you need them to be around in your life potentially.
Don’t stress it out, I know once you sit down to actually do this, it’s going to be extremely over-whelming, disturbing and you might be extremely distracted while you do this. So, you could use something that I believe helped me and I hope might help you too.
1: Don’t do it alone; sit down with a trusted friend via FaceTime or sit down with a trusted family member; I sat down with my doggo to do this so that’s also an option.
2: Don’t sway away from the positivity of this; I would recommend listening to any kind of feel good music maybe Lo-Fi or some good old blues, I’ll link down what I usually listen to while doing a declutter.
3: Don’t feel like you have to absolutely have to do this in an hour; Take breaks, get a drink. Relax. To face that toxicity, you need a lot of inner strength and you need to understand that this is huge for you and only you.
With so much toxicity, you’re obviously going to hate me for telling this *don’t hate me*. But, here is a list of accounts you could follow, I follow a bunch of these accounts for a daily dose of positivity.
1: Aesthetic/ Scenic accounts: Pictures really speak to your inner mind. I follow a bunch of these on Instagram and Pinterest.
2: Home Decor: This is probably my best bet when I’m feeling low and when my anxiety is acting up. I tend to browse through alot of home decor accounts. My favourite account is “Spruce”. Feel free to browse their handle, it’s gorgeous.
3: You-tubers: Now, this is the good part of social media. Some of them really breath a lot of positivity and good air into you and I 100% recommend you to stalk them out! They have some really binge worthy content honestly, for real its a yaaaaaay vibe for me.
4: Close Friends/Fam Jam: I have been blessed with some really good friends who have their Snap and Insta game on fleek. Bombshells tbh. They post alot of fun stuff which cracks me up and you should need to keep such good vibes on your social media space.
5: YOU: Self-love is what is important above all. The lord, the Universe, this entire energy is made for you. You are your own spark of light, a force of nature. Stalk yourself, look how you can make your account really positive and just a great place to visit.
This one was definitely a long post but I hope this was helpful and you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting this together.
This is a space safe, I’m all ears. Drop me an email or just ping me on my instagram, I will try and come up with something to help you. Eff out the toxicity. You deserve good vibes only.
My Go-to Music playlist:
My Instagram: YUTA (@yutikalad)