Declutter Your Social Media! #Quarantine and Overthinking?- Blog 2

Playing Victim in a problem you created is Toxic.

– Arch Hades.

Hello! *really trying to sound as enthusiastic as I can* *Just kidding*. Hey you guys, sending in loads of positive, aesthetic and chill vibes to everyone out there. It’s been a stressful time and I just want to let you guys know how great you have been doing these past few weeks, looking out for each other, taking some time to find yourself, being with pets and family, it’s beautiful to see everybody so happy and energised in these times as well. xox.

We are in June 2020 already and for most of us it’s about 100 days in Quarantine now which is kinda a big deal so appreciate yourself and be proud of what you have become, which is lovely. WE have been literally inside our houses and if you are anything like me, I can say you have permanently ditched your jeans for good. * Yaaaaaaaay!* 

So, I know I haven’t been writing that much this past few weeks due to various reasons one of them being that I haven’t been able to establish a work-life balance. Work from home has become a huge part of my daily schedule tbh and 95% of us are in this Wild Wild West * cliche*. But, this blog is going to be focusing on *Inserts catchy title sequence and Lo-Fi* “Decluttering Social Media”. 

This is something I do normally once in about 4-5 months. I started decluttering my social media about a year ago when I was suffering from depression. When you are in “THAT” place, it’s an awful place to be and I would rather be showered with hell-fire than suffer through that. 

Our minds are wired in sync with our inner peace. Now, alot of you might be thinking where am I getting at with it. Bare with me, I have a point. When you see a certain somebody’s instagram/facebook post or you see their stories or anything that’s got to do with them, it triggers you. You can sense your pulse racing, eyes pooling up and a drastic change in your body temperature. It bothers you, affects you and takes a toll on your mental health. 

Guys, this is TOXIC and it is what we now know as SOCIAL MEDIA TOXICITY. You do not deserve this, not even for a second so don’t take it in. This is your social media and you should be in power. You shouldn’t feel like deleting your apps because you are being constantly targeted by them. It’s a harsh truth but, no matter how close you are to that person, they are toxic for you and you having a gush of these feelings just from looking at your phone screens, babies you need an out. It’s very Zen, soothing and you feel the weight lifting off of your chest. It’s one of the many cleansing rituals I do and it’s been helping me heal and focus on the better parts of my personal and professional life.

I’m going to list out the people/ accounts you definitely need to get rid of *this is gonna sting like a beeeeeach*. 

1: Your Ex- Boyfriend/Girlfriend : If you still have him/her on any of your social media, get rid of them now, like seriously NOW! I’m gonna be super blunt when I say this but what exactly are you hoping their social media accounts are going to show? You wanna check who they are dating or sleeping with? Their current whereabouts? If they are suffering like how you are?. STOP! It’s not healthy at all. Not only are you killing your self-esteem but crushing your mental health. If you guys broke up, it’s for a reason and it’s not healthy to be stalking them. If your ex has cheated on you, do not even for a second think they are going to be any different now. They will remain the same and it’s anything but Zen. If you guys broke up because of differences, my heart goes out to you with love and prayers. It’s sad what happened but keeping them on your social media is just going to hurt so much more than the break-up. There is no such thing as a Mutual Break-Up. The only sensible thing to do is walk-out, start healing and for that, Step one is absolutely removing them from your social media space. 

2: Your Ex’s Current Girlfriend/Boyfriend: I’m guilty AF for this one. But, this is probably much more toxic than having your ex on your social media. Again, even if you are on good/ bad terms with this person, irrespective, they are toxic. You will never be friends with them. I mean who are you guys kidding? They are litreally standing, dancing, giggling and sleeping in a place that you once called Home. Just ask yourself this, do you go to your old rented apartment once you have moved out and someone else is staying? NO! You don’t. It’s not your place to be and you can’t go stalking them. If your ex cheated on you because of them, baby your life is messed up because of them and you giving them the access to judge you and look at how your life has turned out is not fair and tbh not necessary. Don’t give them a chance to hurt you by texting you, calling you or commenting on your posts. Seriously, babies why? So again, this one is definitely a NO-GO! You absolutely do not need this person on your social media so get rid of them RIGHT NOW! 

3: People you knew because of your previous partners: This one is really tricky because I’m sure the majority of you’ll are going to be like, ‘What have they done wrong’ or ‘We vibe alot and they don’t even talk to them(your ex) anymore’. OK, I hear you guys, let me tell you why they are mildly toxic. You know them/met them through a person that is no longer of a concern to you. Now, these people, know them(your ex), meet them, talk to them on a routine daily basis. You having them on your social media is toxic for you because deep down you still want to stalk or keep tabs on your ex’s life! (i know this, so don’t deny it and don’t lie to yourself). This is probably debatable but under no circumstances can these people know you now or how you actually are. They knew you once upon a time when you were attached to your ex, they knew you when you were their “significant other”. They are going to be judging you by the second now because they do not know you as a single individual and can you blame them? They have never really interacted with you or seen you as a separate entity. Also, ask yourself why do you want to see someone called ‘Trisha’ and her picture with pancakes or a glass of wine. Does that make you feel good? If you are in good terms with these people, I would recommend not to completely block them out but mute their posts and stories. This way you can not be in bad books with them and still keep your sanity. 

4: Accounts that make you feel offended: This one is not that common but I’m sure alot of you’ll see content you don’t really like and yet for some reason are following that account. I was following a ton of accounts because my friends used to send me posts from private spaces and I never really unfollowied them and it sort of just got left out. So, yes this is definitely a NO-GO for various social media account/accounts you need to get rid off! 

5: People you know but don’t really interact with: Now this one is a bit personal so take it or don’t take, it’s completely upto you.So, I was following a lot of these people who I just know via their name or you know met them once in a party and ended up following back to their follow requests. I’ll tell you why this is kinda mildly toxic. They don’t know you and you don’t know them *staring at you for 10 seconds straight*. Why do you have them? Babies come on! They are No.1 toxic to you. They are seriously judging you, stalking you and giggling on your last Instagram post. The only reason they even sent you this is probably because, one; they wanna get in your pants, two; they wanna see what kind of a person you are, and are waiting to judge you from A-Z. So, this one atleast for me is toxic and a NO-GO so definitely its an out. You can choose to talk to them and get to know them but that is a completely different scenario. 

6: Celebrity/ Influencer Accounts: Ok, now this might be a bit weird for most of you but I used to follow a ton of these celebs who at first I loved for various reasons but, with time it started bothering me. It used to tick me off and I’m not saying their photos tick me off but a lot of what they were preaching, and I just didn’t quite settle in. I do not judge anyone so this is not a judgemental decision but a practical one that I took. If you know what I mean, you just know it.

AND for the last one.

7: Friends/family you broke up with: I kept this at the last because this one actually hits close to home. All of us have people who we are extremely close to but for reasons unknown your friendship has either fizzled out, has become toxic with people you were friends or previously went out with/had flings or it’s simply not the same anymore. Now, these people probably aren’t a bad influence for you, they aren’t toxic but it is is important you shut them out and don’t take this in the wrong way. Sometimes, taking a step back is important. You necessarily do not have to get rid of them on your social media because obviously you don’t wanna hurt their feelings and also, you might just mend things with them but till then you can restrict them or mute them as you see fit. But, I would really suggest you take a break and figure out their presence in your social media and if at all you need them to be around in your life potentially. 

Don’t stress it out, I know once you sit down to actually do this, it’s going to be extremely over-whelming, disturbing and you might be extremely distracted while you do this. So, you could use something that I believe helped me and I hope might help you too.

1: Don’t do it alone; sit down with a trusted friend via FaceTime or sit down with a trusted family member; I sat down with my doggo to do this so that’s also an option. 

2: Don’t sway away from the positivity of this; I would recommend listening to any kind of feel good music maybe Lo-Fi or some good old blues, I’ll link down what I usually listen to while doing a declutter.

3: Don’t feel like you have to absolutely have to do this in an hour; Take breaks, get a drink. Relax. To face that toxicity, you need a lot of inner strength and you need to understand that this is huge for you and only you. 

With so much toxicity, you’re obviously going to hate me for telling this *don’t hate me*. But, here is a list of accounts you could follow, I follow a bunch of these accounts for a daily dose of positivity. 

1: Aesthetic/ Scenic accounts: Pictures really speak to your inner mind. I follow a bunch of these on Instagram and Pinterest. 

2: Home Decor: This is probably my best bet when I’m feeling low and when my anxiety is acting up. I tend to browse through alot of home decor accounts. My favourite account is “Spruce”. Feel free to browse their handle, it’s gorgeous.  

3: You-tubers: Now, this is the good part of social media. Some of them really breath a lot of positivity and good air into you and I 100% recommend you to stalk them out! They have some really binge worthy content honestly, for real its a yaaaaaay vibe for me.

4: Close Friends/Fam Jam: I have been blessed with some really good friends who have their Snap and Insta game on fleek. Bombshells tbh. They post alot of fun stuff which cracks me up and you should need to keep such good vibes on your social media space.

5: YOU: Self-love is what is important above all. The lord, the Universe, this entire energy is made for you. You are your own spark of light, a force of nature. Stalk yourself, look how you can make your account really positive and just a great place to visit. 

This one was definitely a long post but I hope this was helpful and you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting this together. 

 This is a space safe, I’m all ears. Drop me an email or just ping me on my instagram, I will try and come up with something to help you. Eff out the toxicity. You deserve good vibes only. 

xx.xx 

My Go-to Music playlist:

 Feel Good Lo-fi 

Summer

My Instagram: YUTA (@yutikalad)

Here Lies// No Lies

Here Lies, a sheltered cocoon.

A nest deprived of love.

It looks tarnished, broken even, hurt cause of the sufferings.

It seems mysterious though, secrets that it seems carry.

The cocoon isn’t alone, it’s being looked upon, frowned too.

They seem to be close although, they judge upon seeing it. 

Hellos’ here are cheerful. Bubbly, sweet, exciting. 

Makes one wanna stay.

Sunlight streams inside. It’s warm, stubble, welcoming.

This baby has plenty of space for the ones who are here to stay. Maybe a bit sensitive to the ones who leave too soon. 

It smells of Irish spring, fresh lilies, dew drops. Sweet, gentle, naive, pure.

The cooking space here looks spotless. For now.

There’s only room for one in the master bedroom. The other spaces however, an infinite open ground.

Perhaps, you can heal the walls, they can come crashing down. 

Maybe, redo the wallpaper. 

It seems upon people leaving, the cocoon is missed.

But apparently, they don’t miss it enough to stay. 

#Quarantine&Overthinking?

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop.

H.G.Bohn; 1855

<3// <3//.

Try and fall down a million times my love because, Epic is yet to happen

Y.S.L; 2020

What’s your 4 a.m. guilty pleasure? Or simply what is keeping you awake?

I find myself devouring one poetry after the other in the midst of dawn.

Marking the ones that make me feel relieved, a healing pain that tingles.

Some of ’em curling my lips into a smile with tears round the corner.

Some simply make me smh.

The chaos that my heart carries, the anxious thoughts that make me twirl, come to a standstill with the sweet little bridges that calm my very soul.

24 hours undoubtedly seem like an infinite loop. Hell, i’m unaware of what day it is every morning.

But, the bright side? You are healing in ways you thought you couldn’t anymore.

Things don’t seem to bother you as much as they did earlier.

On the contrary, there are things which you now observe. Like the sound of the church bell ringing, the sunlight streaming in through the curtains at 7 a.m. soothes you, your dog seems to enjoy you around more, your sibling is teeny bit annoying and you are finally warming up to your family.

I get it, it’s hard. The anxiety building up, the rush of negative thoughts. But it’s ok, you need to breath through this.

One day at a time. One activity at a time everyday. It’s all about channelizing your inner peace.

Quarantine isn’t for the world, it’s for you to get your strength to fight back mon bébé.

#Stayhome#Staysafe#Worldfightscovid-19.

#LondonTraffic

What’s that feeling after you heal?

You know the one which gives strength

Self- motivation & a little bit of a rush

What’s making you smile lately but at the same time making you break

Is it a ladder to move past the past? Or a string you are trying to let go?

There are a million reasons why you did not try hard enough today and that’s ok! It’s ok that you did something stupid, it’s ok to travel miles but get dejected and it’s ok to feel sorry.

Someday, Someone out there is going to pick you. Choose you. And that someone is going to know your worth and see your Shine. Can you hold on to that for a bit longer? Try not to let go, it’s probably London Traffic.

Does This Keep One Awake?

Hello beautiful people, i hope you have been okay and hanging in there. So, before you start reading this one, take a deep breath, close your eyes, surround your mind with your happy place. And…… Go!

I find myself often asking this question: Why does it still bother me what my ex thinks of me?

Well, it’s simple tbh. You somehow and somewhere deep down you still give a damn about him/her. You are asking yourself the wrong question, when you should be asking why do i give a damn about him/her.

You chose this didn’t you? You chose to walk away, you chose a life which you thought is the better option for you. Then why are you holding yourself back? Or what is holding you back?

You are latched onto that one last bolt that keeps you connected to him/her. It might be a gift, your dog(i know HIMYM ref here), maybe your t-shirt that smells like him/her,a scarf he bought you from his first trip to the mountains, the watch he gave on your 21st birthday. Don’t hold onto that. Let it go. The things that are painful, things that aren’t allowing you to heal, let it go.

Easier said then done, but we gotta start somewhere right? Start letting go before it haunts you back. If it’s meant to be, it’s gonna come crawling back. If not, you have something bigger waiting for you. Come back to yourself, your own soul misses you. Heal at your own speed, but don’t go jumping back in that hole.

God is testing you because you are capable of taking this, if you weren’t this strong, he wouldn’t have put you through this. Believe in yourself first, everything else will fall back. Take one day at a time.

Serial Cheaters And How One Deals With The Heartbreak.

To let go. To move on. To rebuild. These three things can make or break a person. Letting go of something close to your soul is painful; it feels like you are falling from the skylight and its never ending. You have a pit in your stomach, you feel like you are dying, and all of this in instantaneous, its rapid and its heartbreaking. But, the real trick is, what can you do about it. You can either keep on falling in that never ending loop or you can finally turn over the chapter from letting go to moving on. It’s not easy i get it, hey everyone has been where you are ok? This exact feeling, that you are feeling, i have been here. I have stood in your shoes, walked that path, and i have done it all alone. I would never advice anybody to go through tha process of healing alone, because lets face it, you can cry and cry but you won’t feel any better unless you have somebody to assure you and protect you. Somebody who is willing to listen to your rants. 

To move on is not to forgive or forget. It’s simply to accept and start walking towards a better alternative. If i had a nickle for everytime someone told me that moving on means you gotta date somebody else, i would be owning at the least a new macbook. Moving on is simply accepting the truth, swallowing the situation in front of you, fighting your will and getting up to face another battle life is going to throw at you. Love is not everything remember that. To come to that level, one needs a hell lot more than love and no where in hell “Everything is fair in Love and War” is helpful cause it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair the way one gets treated inspite of loving someone so dearly. Karma is going to get you asshole, one way or another. Don’t let the fools stop you from letting go and moving on from a toxic relationship. You deserve a better life, a better version of yourself.

And finally, rebuilding yourself. This is about you and only you. Your likes and dislikes, your passions and dreams, you loving yourself first and fighting for your self respect. Toxic relationships normally leave a huge scar on you emotionally and mentally. You reach a point when you feel helpless to the extent that dying seems easier. That’s ok, sometimes you feel like giving up, and that’s ok. But here is the fun part, the trick is we only get hurt and bothered because we are letting ourselves get affected by that particular person. That person still has a hold on you which to be fair is not how you have to do it. Always remember, one seeks something only when he/she knows how to seek it. So to sum it up, do not give that person the power to hurt you. Ignore the texts and calls. Ignore the PDA. Ignore the sweet talks cause honestly, he/she is a serial cheater and is going to do the exact same thing to you and the one after you. It’s a habit and it doesn’t go away. So, in order to rebuild yourself, you need to get away first and then its a flow of process that follows. 

I know this hurts, and i also know what you are going through. But hang in there, the right person is coming to you as fast as they can, they are probably held up in a similar situation and probably they are reading this blog. 

Don’t give up trusting your inner circle, what’s gone is gone look forward. If somebody asked me the question about moving on about 2 months ago, i would have said no, cause even today i’m in love with somebody who is a serial cheater and a womaniser, but i would have still waited cause love just doesn’t go away like that. But i chose this, i chose myself and i chose to walk out of a toxic relationship and this is my take on a how to get out of it.

P.S. If you have been following this space, remember its a safe space and i am all ears to anyone going or have been went through a similar situation. Don’t be afraid. Also, a huge shoutout to my anxiety prone fellas, hope you are doing okay, and if you are in this, well welcome on this cruise ship.

Anxious nights followed by anxious days

Been feeling anxious again. Not a good sign. Don’t want to be spiralling down. It’s not stress, or at least i hope it isn’t stress. Mostly been really home sick. Maybe its my relationship or maybe just missing home or both. I have been getting the long distance fever i suppose, which is spiralling me into manifesting my worst fears. Ironically, it’s not death but the mere thought of dying. I found myself thinking, what if i do die? How will it benefit me and others around me. So there it goes… I thought. If i do die at this exact moment, it will hurt everyone around me but eventually give it a few months, they will get on with their lives. They all do, always. Except for my mum. She will mourn me and miss me till she lives and i know this because my grandma still mourns her son who died too young. I will hurt her beyond repair. She won’t be ok for days, months, years. She will have a broken heart and i will be at fault. I won’t find peace neither will she. So i shrug the thought. But the anxiety persists. So i try to get help. At least i’m trying to. If i do speak to someone who will help, it might help me get on. But it’s this moment that i’m so sick to feel. I don’t want to feel this right now. It’s terrifying, beyond terrifying. But it will pass won’t it?

So if you have been following this space, i want to tell you that you will feel yourself spiralling down. And it’s normal, it’s imperfect but its you. You will feel this terrifying gut and its ok to cry. Don’t let yourself in that dark space, do everything you can to stop yourself. Here’s what you can do.

1) Try to calm yourself by doing what you would normally do to distract. I for instance write here. In a way to help souls like me to get out of the darkness they feel.

2) Get help, talk to somebody you trust.

3) Remember the 333 rule, it will steady your heartbeat. Medidate and try to see.

4) Workout, hit the gym or dance it out.

The worst fear is not being able to anything about it, but that’s in your hands, don’t give up and hold on to hope. Its a beautiful world with you in it and you are loved oh so dearly. Have compassion and faith in yourself.

– SurrealMe xx

New Day New Me Is (Partly) A Lie

Hello my love, yet another sulky morning have we had? it’s ok, i wouldn’t think over it so much. It takes time and patience to conquer the greater good. But don’t stop trying, and most importantly don’t give up on hope.
Today, one needs to know that being thankful, being grateful is a deed that requires nothing, as it has been said in the great book, The Secret. If you haven’t read it, please do so. That is a million pounds jackpot. But enough, about gratitude i don’t wanna get you’ll yawning.

Getting up in the morning takes a huge amount of effort for people like me and you. For some it is rather easier than what seems like a lot work for us. But picking yourself up from that pit is crucial and vital for your well-being. Things and people can be pretty mean, but it’s important that you don’t listen to their crap. Ignoring it sometimes is a better option than standing up to it. You are the sky my friend, and sky isn’t the limit anymore, that was a long time ago. You have a long way up ahead waiting and you need to show the world that you can shine bright.

So here’s what we do to get up from that:
Wake up and be thankful for your heart that’s beating, your soul that is warm and kind, your mind and it’s internal galaxy. Learn that you can’t always be right and when you are able to accept that, dance it out. Smile, Laugh, but step up for yourself, be your old self if that helps you reconnect, don’t be a cocoon. Live.

-SurrealMe xx

A Day In The Life Of A Newbie Anxiety Prone Blogger

It’s been vaguely a good day today. Not too cold, not too hot, literally ditched my fur coat for my jumper. On most days, i don’t wanna wake up. I would rather spend my entire time rolling in the sheets of my bed than get up and step out that front door. But today, i had to go out. Partly because i have to get my blood sucked at the hospital but also today in a real long time i felt good. I didn’t feel like a total waste on C-53. I felt like i meant something, even to myself. It is a big deal. It is OKAY?!!

Hello fellow loathing lovelies, welcome to the first good day of my new blogging life.Here’s a few things you can get started on to reach a happy day:

1) It’s ok if you sleep at 2:30 a.m., you can still wake up nice and fresh at 8:30 a.m. and start your day early.

 2) Set an alarm to a song that really talks to you, your go to song, the one that made you smile when you wanted to cry out loud, that little baby who makes you wanna dance and do the mackerena. My go to song is ‘What i wouldn’t do’ by A fine frenzy. Feel free to listen to this one.

 3) And then stand up on those feet, and dance like a 5 year old child, with your hands trying to reach the sky, with your feet reaching for the heights of the horizon, let it all out, wiggle your body, laugh, smile, play the song on a loop till you feel like you want to get out of the bed. But get out there.

There’s a whole world waiting to be discovered by you, a whole new side that you don’t know about, it’s right there and you have been sulking about you this whole time. My suggestion to start with a place, if you are a reader like me; Library or a museum. Even go hit a bar or something but get up and get going. It’s just everyday that the sun rises but it’s not just everyday that you see that sun rise my love. It Is A Big Deal get out of that bed, you make a big deal. You make this world a better place, beautiful for those who never saw it earlier. 


– SurrealMe xx

Link: https://musicpleer.media/#!6608acaca3bf30da978555dfd39bacc7